upstream version 1.2.2

[debian/freetts] / tests / data / alice.txt

       ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND by Lewis Carroll.

                CHAPTER I: Down the Rabbit-Hole.

  Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
on the bank, and of having nothing to do:  once or twice she had
peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'
thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'

  So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

  There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice
think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to
itself, `Oh dear!  Oh dear!  I shall be late!'  (when she thought
it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have
wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);
but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-
POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to
her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the
field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop
down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

  In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
considering how in the world she was to get out again.

  The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
falling down a very deep well.

  Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she
had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
wonder what was going to happen next.  First, she tried to look
down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs.  She
took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was
labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it
was empty:  she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing
somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she
fell past it.

  `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I
shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs!  How brave they'll
all think me at home!  Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,
even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
true.)

  Down, down, down.  Would the fall NEVER come to an end!  `I
wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.
`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.  Let
me see:  that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,
you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her
lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good
opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to
listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,
that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude
or Longitude I've got to?'  (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,
or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to
say.)

  Presently she began again.  `I wonder if I shall fall right
THROUGH the earth!  How funny it'll seem to come out among the
people that walk with their heads downward!  The Antipathies, I
think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this
time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall
have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling
through the air!  Do you think you could manage it?)  `And what
an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking!  No, it'll
never do to ask:  perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

  Down, down, down.  There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
began talking again.  `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
should think!'  (Dinah was the cat.)  `I hope they'll remember
her saucer of milk at tea-time.  Dinah my dear!  I wish you were
down here with me!  There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but
you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.
But do cats eat bats, I wonder?'  And here Alice began to get
rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of
way, `Do cats eat bats?  Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do
bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either
question, it didn't much matter which way she put it.  She felt
that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she
was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very
earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth:  did you ever eat a
bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of
sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

  Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
moment:  she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
sight, hurrying down it.  There was not a moment to be lost:
away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it
say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late
it's getting!'  She was close behind it when she turned the
corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen:  she found
herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps
hanging from the roof.

  There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
wondering how she was ever to get out again.

  Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of
solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
them.  However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
door about fifteen inches high:  she tried the little golden key
in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

  Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
passage, not much larger than a rat-hole:  she knelt down and
looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if
my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of
very little use without my shoulders.  Oh, how I wish
I could shut up like a telescope!  I think I could, if I only
know how to begin.'  For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things
had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
things indeed were really impossible.

  There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she
went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on
it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like
telescopes:  this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which
certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck
of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'
beautifully printed on it in large letters.

  It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little
Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry.  `No, I'll look
first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';
for she had read several nice little histories about children who
had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant
things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules
their friends had taught them:  such as, that a red-hot poker
will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had
never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked
`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
later.

  However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured
to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort
of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast
turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished
it off.
     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

         *       *       *       *       *       *

     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

  `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up
like a telescope.'

  And so it was indeed:  she was now only ten inches high, and
her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
size for going though the little door into that lovely garden.
First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
going to shrink any further:  she felt a little nervous about
this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my
going out altogether, like a candle.  I wonder what I should be
like then?'  And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
ever having seen such a thing.

  After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden
key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she
could not possibly reach it:  she could see it quite plainly
through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
cried.

  `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'
She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
child was very fond of pretending to be two people.  `But it's no
use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people!  Why,
there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable
person!'

  Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
the table:  she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,
I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
don't care which happens!'

  She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which
way?  Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to
feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to
find that she remained the same size:  to be sure, this generally
happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
common way.

  So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

         *       *       *       *       *       *

     *       *       *       *       *       *       *




                           CHAPTER II

                        The Pool of Tears


  `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
ever was!  Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her
feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so
far off).  `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on
your shoes and stockings for you now, dears?  I'm sure _I_ shan't
be able!  I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
about you:  you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the
way I want to go!  Let me see:  I'll give them a new pair of
boots every Christmas.'

  And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll
seem, sending presents to one's own feet!  And how odd the
directions will look!

            ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
                HEARTHRUG,
                    NEAR THE FENDER,
                        (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).

Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

  Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall:  in
fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

  Poor Alice!  It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
through was more hopeless than ever:  she sat down and began to
cry again.

  `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great
girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in
this way!  Stop this moment, I tell you!'  But she went on all
the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool
all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
hall.

  After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
other:  he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she
be savage if I've kept her waiting!'  Alice felt so desperate
that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,
sir--'  The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid
gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard
as he could go.

  Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
`Dear, dear!  How queer everything is to-day!  And yesterday
things went on just as usual.  I wonder if I've been changed in
the night?  Let me think:  was I the same when I got up this
morning?  I almost think I can remember feeling a little
different.  But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
the world am I?  Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!'  And she began
thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age
as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of
them.

  `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such
long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
oh! she knows such a very little!  Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,
and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is!  I'll try if I know all the
things I used to know.  Let me see:  four times five is twelve,
and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!
I shall never get to twenty at that rate!  However, the
Multiplication Table doesn't signify:  let's try Geography.
London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain!  I must have been
changed for Mabel!  I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'
and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,
and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and
strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--

            `How doth the little crocodile
              Improve his shining tail,
            And pour the waters of the Nile
              On every golden scale!

            `How cheerfully he seems to grin,
              How neatly spread his claws,
            And welcome little fishes in
              With gently smiling jaws!'

  `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel
after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
many lessons to learn!  No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
Mabel, I'll stay down here!  It'll be no use their putting their
heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!"  I shall only look
up and say "Who am I then?  Tell me that first, and then, if I
like being that person, I'll come up:  if not, I'll stay down
here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a
sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads
down!  I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'

  As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
white kid gloves while she was talking.  `How CAN I have done
that?' she thought.  `I must be growing small again.'  She got up
and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,
as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,
and was going on shrinking rapidly:  she soon found out that the
cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at
the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in
existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed
back to the little door:  but, alas! the little door was shut
again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as
before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,
`for I never was so small as this before, never!  And I declare
it's too bad, that it is!'

  As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water.  He first
idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that
case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself.  (Alice had
been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
behind them a railway station.)  However, she soon made out that
she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
feet high.

  `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,
trying to find her way out.  `I shall be punished for it now, I
suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!  That WILL be a queer
thing, to be sure!  However, everything is queer to-day.'

  Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was:  at
first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

  `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this
mouse?  Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should
think very likely it can talk:  at any rate, there's no harm in
trying.'  So she began:  `O Mouse, do you know the way out of
this pool?  I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a
mouse--a mouse--O mouse!'  The Mouse looked at her rather
inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
eyes, but it said nothing.

  `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I
daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
Conqueror.'  (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had
no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.)  So she
began again:  `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
her French lesson-book.  The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright.  `Oh, I beg
your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the
poor animal's feelings.  `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'

  `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
voice.  `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'

  `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone:  `don't be
angry about it.  And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:
I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.
She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,
as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so
nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
certain it must be really offended.  `We won't talk about her any
more if you'd rather not.'

  `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end
of his tail.  `As if I would talk on such a subject!  Our family
always HATED cats:  nasty, low, vulgar things!  Don't let me hear
the name again!'

  `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
subject of conversation.  `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly:  `There is
such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
brown hair!  And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and
it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I
can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you
know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!
He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a
sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!'  For the
Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and
making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

  So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear!  Do come back
again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
like them!'  When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
slowly back to her:  its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to
the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

  It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
with the birds and animals that had fallen into it:  there were a
Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
creatures.  Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
shore.